A couple of years ago I stumbled upon an audio presentation by Dr Tony Alessandra where he was talking about the Platinum Rule. I found it really interesting and decided to share it with some friends and family who really appreciated me doing so. A few weeks ago I had the privilege to speak at the morning assembly of a local school where I shared with the students there the key principles of the Platinum Rule and it really went down well with them. Due to the great feedback I got after my presentation I decided that I must share it with you.
How many of you in your dealings with others have ever had a personality conflict or a personality clash? I’m sure all of us, whether we want to admit it or not, have had the misfortune of not being able to connect with another person, not being able to create that all important meeting of the minds. And of course all of us have had the opposite happen where you have met somebody and in the first 5 minutes, just click and have instant rapport and immediate chemistry.
Now in my experience you can create a lot more rapport with people and a lot less tension with them based on how well you practice the Golden Rule. Practice it appropriately and you will have a lot more rapport, practice it inappropriately, a lot more tension. Let me make sure that we are all on the same page and understanding this from the same perspective. Let us define the Golden Rule.
What is the Golden Rule?
One version of the golden rule that I hear most often, especially from married couples is, “The person who has the gold, make the rules”. Now I grew up in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, and we had our version of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others before they do unto you”. Then I moved to Cape Town and they had their variation: “Do unto others, and then split!” But the real golden rule that most of us were brought up on since childhood was, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
Now it is my contention that if you practice the golden rule verbatim, to the letter, you stand a much greater chance of creating conflict rather than chemistry. I know it doesn’t sound right but just bear with me here. If I practice the golden rule with you, I would treat you the way I want to be treated, rather than treating you the way you want to be treated. However, what we need to do is practice the true spirit and the true intent of the golden rule, which is the platinum rule, and the platinum rule very simply stated is “Do unto others the way they want to be done unto”. In other words, treat people the way they want to be treated. Speak to people in ways that make it easy for them to listen. Manage people or lead people in ways that eternally motivate them to want to follow and not have to follow, and sell people the way they are comfortable buying and not necessarily the way you are comfortable selling.
People will not always tell you how to treat them, but they will almost always show you how to treat them. All you need to do is open your eyes and ears, watch what people do, and listen to what people say.
So in essence, treat people the way they want to be treated, and practice doing things from the other person’s perspective.
Posted by *=JF=* 
